Meimango's Pregnancy Journey, STEPS

Fishica » STEPS » Sharing » Meimango's Pregnancy Journey » Meimango’s Pregnancy Journey – 24 Weeks

Meimango’s Pregnancy Journey

Written at 24 weeks…

This pregnancy has been nothing like my son’s.  My son is a little over two-and-a-half years old now and I still remember the excitement that each passing week of pregnancy would bring.   I would read all the information I could find in books and on the web, looking for another titbit that would give me some insight into my little fella’s womb world.

But this time round, it’s all been breezily pragmatic; well, at least this second trimester.

Unlike my son’s pregnancy, my nausea has pretty much ceased at thirteen weeks – rather than the 40 week bathroom marathon.  I’m fortunate enough to be staying at home looking after my son – instead of working until a month before my due date.   My days are now filled with the usual caring, playing, cooking, housekeeping and domestic blisses and distractions of most stay-at-home-mums.  And this pregnancy feels like the most natural thing in the world, rather than the career breaking new identity that felt like it could be a big mistake.  I don’t have the same fears about whether I will be able to be decent mother.  I know that I can cope through it all, because I’ve already had to.

My first trimester was a completely different story.  When I found out I was pregnant, two weeks earlier I had been placed on medication for depression.   I was finally diagnosed after a miscarriage, which had complications, six months previously.  After researching papers on the internet, I discovered that the medication I was on was believed to cause harm to the foetus in the third trimester and according to other research causes defects if taken during the first trimester.  So the emotional roller coaster of going onto the meds was shortly replaced by a similar one coming off.   I was worried that I had come off them too late, and plagued by the thought that if I’d been mentally stronger, none of this would have happened.   I was given an option to take other medications that were considered safer, but in this instance, and with my husband’s promised support, I declined.

But I was also elated to have been given another chance.  Albeit a wary elation, cautiousness that many women who have had trouble conceiving will recognise.   And a month later, I thought my wariness had been well-founded.  I began to bleed.

At seven weeks, it was much earlier than when my previous miscarriage was discovered.  I rang the out-of-hours medical GP and was given a date for a scan at the early pregnancy unit at my local hospital.  The wait until the EPU scan was tortuous.

The following week, my husband and son accompanied me for the scan, expecting the worst.   But instead, we were able to see him/her for the first time!  When I was told the heart was beating, I knew I was in love and desperately wanted this baby.    The sonographers saw pockets of bleeding around the embryo, but were happy that this wasn’t detrimental to the pregnancy’s progression.   My husband and I left the hospital heartened with our son and bump in tow, and finally allowed ourselves some unabashed celebration!

The next hurdle was moving house.  I do not recommend moving house with a toddler.  And it doesn’t mix too well with nausea either.  It was difficult, but my parents flew over from Sydney to London to help with the move.    And every day I’m grateful that they did.   It had been almost two years since I’d seen them and the boost it gave me was immeasurable.  I have felt so lonely in London.  So to suddenly feel as though I belong to a group of people again was amazing.  And to have help was a revelation.  My husband and I were able to leave our son for the first time together to go for the thank-goodness-everything-is-ok-twelve-week scan, then afterwards, a meal just for ourselves.

My Mum and Dad made such a difference to settling into the new house, but the difference their presence made to my mental health was even greater.   If this second trimester seems a breeze it’s completely down to their loving support, my husband’s continuing help, and my son’s smile.

At the twenty week scan we discovered that we would be having a daughter. I don’t think about my little girl-to-be as often as I thought about my son at the same stage.    Mostly because I know I’m already in love with her, and I have very few fears about how she will fit into the family once she joins us.   At the moment, she just is.